Being a Transparent Person

Thursday, September 13, 2012

After Sunday's church service I got to thinking. Matt Chandler said something along the lines of "If you truly love someone, then you will tell them your honest opinion or concern, and mostly everything about your life. You would never hide anything from those closest to you."  When sharing a concern or thought with someone close to you, you may not always get the reaction you want. It will probably go something like, "Well are you so perfect to say that to me?" or "If you were a true friend then you would never say that."

He also mentioned being hospitable. He said that being hospitable doesn't mean coming over to my house and me hosting some lavish party. It means to care and love someone so much that you are hospitable towards them at all times. You are willing to be an open book with them, as God is with us.

Then the other day a friend and I got to talking about how people who are transparent with their lives seem so much...well...happier. Hiding things from those close to you, being afraid of being judged, and always putting on a face that says, "Hey! My life is perfect!" is such a stressful way to live the one life that you were given.

Does this mean you should tell everyone everything? Nope, not at all. All I am saying is that when you hide things from those around you, it is hurtful and causes a lot of self inflicted stress. And then those people start to portray you as dishonest because they know the truth, yet you won't tell them. If you were transparent there would be no questions, there would be no doubts. Do you ever hold something back from someone and then when you walk away, instantly regret that you weren't honest with them? Ya, that is not being very transparent.

As if hearing Matt Chandler preach and then having this random conversation with a friend wasn't enough to think about, Chris said something to me that struck a chord. I suggested that we should have a Halloween party or some get together soon since we have this beautiful new home that we have yet to host a party in. He replied with, "Oh no, we can't do that. The house isn't near ready for people to be coming over." Huh?! House isn't ready?!

That, once again, got me thinking. Do we live in a world where we are so afraid to be judged by our friends that we won't even welcome them into out home if it is not picture perfect? Instantly I was sad. Sad that my husband felt this way and sad that I was going to have to pull the "we are doing what the wife wants" card. Sorry, Honey :) We are having a Halloween party and everyone is invited over to our not-fully-decorated-or-painted-house! Yay!

We live in our house. We don't have a maid. Both Chris and I work well over 40 hours a week. We have dirty laundry and dishes in the sink. Some of our walls are half painted and there is dog hair on the floor. Our office is our storage closet and our closet is sometimes a mess. Is that any reason to not have the people we love come over to our house? Come over and enjoy our hospitality and yummy food? Not in my book. If they are going to come into my home and judge me for it, then maybe they aren't our true friends...

God forgives the people who are lost in their lives and He forgives the people who sit in the front row at church every Sunday. Won't He forgive me for a messy house and love me for opening it up to those who I care about? Yes, actually, He will. That is why I am not the least bit worried about it :)

This all has been weighing heavily on my heart. It saddens me to know that with all of the reality TV (yes, I am addicted) and all the materialistic things that we long for in our lives, it has led us to be truly unhappy, or should I say constantly unsatisfied, people. And the constant worry about being judged is annoying and stressful. Oh no, my car is not clean and I volunteered for car pool duty today?! Oh. Freaking. Well. Guess what? No one should be judging you for that! And if they are...well...I'm not going to say that because my Mom always told me that if I don't have anything nice to know.

I can honestly say when I started this blog I worried, "What will people think of me? Will they like what I write? What if my grammar is wrong, or I write condom instead of condemn?" Then I realized, who cares? I love writing and I love being transparent. Anything anyone wants to know I usually tell them (Chris would totally agree!). It is such a freeing feeling. Seriously gratifying. Nope I don't drive a fancy car. Nope, I don't make a million bucks a year. Yes, I love my husband to death and was raised in a loving home with parents who adore me more that my brother to pieces.

So this is for those of you holding back, not being transparent. Maybe this isn't your 'thing' or you don't want to be honest with some people. That is perfectly fine :) I am just saying that since I have decided to be honest and open about all things in my life I have felt free, happy, and closer than ever to the big man upstairs.

I'm not saying life is always rainbows and butterflies, but it sure is pretty sweet :)

Exodus 20:16 - "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."


  1. I love this post -- thank you for such a sweet reminder! And I'm crazy for your coral and leopard outfit!!

    1. Thank you!! It was a heavy post, but I love getting it out there!

      Thanks for stopping by :)


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  3. Hi Sarah! I just found you from the link you left in Aspiring Kennedy's comments, and I have SO enjoyed reading this post! It's sad that we are so guarded and closed as a society isn't it? And when we work up the courage to be transparent (even if for just a moment), people don't know how to respond, and usually end up hurting our feelings, or making us feel like a freak. So sad. But I am delighted to find someone who believes, as I do, that transparency and "life-sharing" is the key to true, real, deep friendships. I'm still searching for one of those (outside of my marriage of course!), but I know they're out there! And in the end, it will be worth the wait I am sure.- So nice to "meet" you!

  4. Authenticity is something God's been working on with me too for something like the last ten years. It is one of the greatest gifts of wisdom He's given me. It's so bizzare that none of us care what our friend's houses look like. Whether their wallpaper is peeled at the corner or the rug matches the curtains or whether or not there's crumbs on the table. Why do we think others care about ours? It's so self-absorbed. (I'm guilty too!) Great post. I wonder if you'd like to share it for ? I think others would enjoy it too. If you're up for it, email me at Good stuff! (Thanks to Kristin for sharing :)

  5. Just found you via Kristin and love this post :) I think your question is true - at least for me - it is hard to be ourselves in a world that appears to be judging. Lately I know remembering that we find our identity in Christ - it makes it so much easier. Who cares, unless He cares :) happy to find your little place :) And want to see some new home pics!

  6. Just found your blog through Cassie's "Hi Sugarplum".
    A very true and inspiring message here.
    I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    1. Thanks for that sweet compliment! Look forward to having you come back and visit :)

  7. Needed this SO much!!! Thank you for sharing it with me :-)