Why the second baby is easier than the first.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Let me start this post by saying this is 100% my opinion, and I also think the age gap between your kids weighs heavily on how difficult this phase of life can be. My boys are three years and four months apart.

I remember getting a positive pregnancy test in August of 2015. That is still one of the most exciting days of my life. I was the girl who always dreamed of my wedding, husband, and kids, so to be pregnant for the first time was a dream come true.

Fast forward to April 1st, 2016, when Graham was born. To say we were in heaven would be an understatement. I remember looking over at Chris, the morning after Graham was born, and seeing him weeping as he looked into our new son's eyes. It is a moment I'll never forget.

We were as smitten as any first time parents, but I'd be lying if I said our world wasn't rocked.

You see, with your first baby you have no idea what to expect. I don't care how much research you've done, how tired you think you know you'll be, how prepared you think you are...you have no idea until you actually become a parent.

Chris and I had been us, just us, for over six years by the time we had Graham. We had always done what we wanted, when we wanted. We had always spent money how we wanted, when we wanted. We had always gone on date night or took a trip without having to think about leaving behind our heart and soul. We had always slept through the night and woke up when we wanted.

Then, you have a baby and that all changes.

Going from no kids to one kid rocked our world. It was the best and hardest thing ever.

When we started to think about baby number two, we got nervous thinking, "Are we ready?" When we finally decided we were ready, we felt extreme peace knowing this time around would be easier.

You see, the second time around you aren't adjusting to some small human coming in and disrupting things. 

You aren't trying to figure out how to keep a newborn alive.

You aren't trying to figure out when you'll sleep again.

You aren't trying to figure out how to get your baby to nap right away or sleep through the night.

You aren't worried about never having alone time again by yourself or with your spouse, or how to navigate marriage and a baby.

You aren't scouring mom blogs and Facebook posts about all the advice from every angle.

You aren't wondering when you'll ever get to shower longer than five minutes. 

Instead, you embrace the disruption knowing things will eventually calm down.

You are less stressed and more confident knowing that you know how to be the perfect caretaker for your baby. 

You don't cry about lost sleep, but, instead, grab that cup of coffee, scoop up your newborn, and cherish their sleepy smiles knowing that one day they won't let you snuggle them like that.

You don't stress about a schedule or naps or sleeping through the night because you know it will come. You don't read books or blogs about babies sleeping through the night right away because 1. you don't believe anyone who says their baby always sleeps through the night, and 2. you know that when your baby is developmentally ready, your baby will do all the "things."

You squeeze in "dates" with your spouse and know that one day you'll get to have solo date nights and solo vacations. You know that one day, soon, your baby will take nice long naps and you'll be anxious for them to wake up because you miss them!

You unfollow most mom blogs and never read the Facebook posts because you know that you have to do what you feel is right for your baby...not what the 1,938 other moms say. You know that too much advice is never a good thing. 

You, now being a seasoned mom, don't even take long showers, so this isn't an issue, ha!

I write all of this to say, it gets better. Everyday, every moment, ever season and stage gets better. Some seasons may challenge you. Some phases may be difficult. Some moments may make you want to fake a poop for thirty minutes just so you can get some alone time. That's all normal.

What I can also say is that the second time is so different than the first. It is a whole different level of love because you now get to see your oldest be a sibling. Seeing Graham as a big brother is something straight out of a fairytale. His pure LOVE for his brother is so genuine and precious.

So, to all you mommas out there hanging on by a thread...it is normal. Life will one day feel normal again. Time is fleeting, so grab that tiny human, snuggle them, and be thankful God chose you to wake up fifteen times a night to care for His child.

Graham || 3.5 Years Old

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

I can't believe it is October 1st! Here in Texas it is still scorching hot, but I'm choosing to think the cold weather is on the horizon. Here's to wishful thinking!

The first of the month always makes me smile because that means our biggest boy is another month older. Today, Graham is officially 3.5 years old. I cannot believe we have a child that old. It still blows our mind that we have two boys, let alone one who is getting so big!

I wanted to jot down some things that Graham does and says because I never, ever want to forget this age...even though some days I'm close to pulling my hair out.

If you follow me on Instagram (@SarahTuckerUp) then you know how talkative and active Graham has always been, so some things I'm jotting down will only make sense if you've seen it in person/on video!

- He is officially in a big boy bed. When I asked him if he was okay giving his crib to Hayes and never sleeping in 'his' room again he said, "That's the truth." Ha!

- Everyday, when I pick him up form school, he asks if I have a treat for him. I talk to him about how treats are special and not something you get everyday. So, on one particular day I told him I forgot the treats at home (thinking he'd forget once we actually got home). Instead, the entire way home he kept saying, "Silly mom! Mom, you're like so, so silly. You for-totally-agot my treats at the house! Hahaha, gosh mom, you're like so, so silly!"

- He loves Hulk and, at random times, he will puff up, look at his muscles, and let out a roar.

- Every morning he kisses and hugs all over Hayes and tells him he is so precious.

- He is very into saying, "right?" after everything. "Mom, this apple is so good, right mom? Right?" "Dad, that was a fun scooter ride, right dad, right?"

- Every single night when we tuck him into bed he yells out, "Love you! Best friend! See you in the morning!" Then he asks, "You can see me? You can hear me? And you're not goin' to close my door?"

- He can spell his name. Up until this point all he could spell was Blippi, haha! If you're a toddler parent, you know Blippi.

- He is very into running super fast, and he actually has great form.

- Playing policeman is his favorite 'game.' Basically, I get a monster truck and he gets a monster truck and I sit in my chair and tell him he's going too fast.

- His favorite foods are apples, granola bars, peanut butter and jelly toast/sandwiches, Cheetos, and frozen Go-Gurts, salad, pizza, and spaghetti. He is not a fan of cheese.

- He loves when I make him a 'picnic." All I do is cut up his food and put it in a muffin tin. He thinks it is the best thing ever.

- He went to the beach for the first time during our vacation to Florida. He loved it! He also passed out before we even pulled the car out of the parking lot.

- Speaking of passing out, he doesn't nap much anymore. He should, but he isn't tired until way too late in the day. We do have a "rest time" everyday and now he goes to bed earlier, so that's a plus!

- Thanks to a very handy daddy, Graham knows almost every tool made, how it works, and he insists on fixing everything.

There are probably a million more things I could write about our boy. We love him so much and are truly so thankful as to how well he has adapted to having a baby brother. He is smart, funny, opinionated, observant, thoughtful, and we are so happy we get to call him ours.

We love you, G!

Hayes || The First Eight Weeks

Thursday, September 5, 2019

I cannot believe we've been a family of four for eight weeks now. Chris and I keep looking at each other saying, "We have TWO boys!?" It is definitely not lost on us how blessed we are.

The first eight weeks have had highs and lows, but, overall, this go around has been a much easier transition than when we had G. Even with three ER trips and a three day hospital stay for big brother, ha!

Many people said going from one to two was so hard, but Chris and I are in the camp that going from zero to one was so hard. We had done whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted for over six years by the time we had Graham. Then, out of no where, you can't do anything you want anymore and your whole world is turned upside down, in the best way.

So, this time around we know what it is like to not be in control of our schedules. We know what it is like to love something so much it hurts. We know what it is like to average six, or less, hours of sleep.

We also think that the three year age gap is part of the reason this transition has been so easy. Graham is very self-sufficient and is smitten with his brother.

Anyways, let's get to the first eight weeks of Hayes!

Hayes has been such a sweet baby! He is eating great, and, yes, we've had our night of up every hour and cluster feeds, but the last week has been a welcomed change in the sleep department.

NICKNAMES: Haze-a-roni, Rhones (derived from Haze-a-roni), Hayzers

SLEEP: Right now I am focusing on getting him to fall asleep on his own for naps. Most days he will take one good nap in his Dock A Tot and I make sure he falls asleep on his own. As for night sleep, he has been giving us a 4-5 hour stretch and then a 3+ hour stretch after that. He has done a couple nights of sleep from 9:00pm - 4:00am. When that happens I am always so excited, but, from experience, I know to take it one day at a time. We plan on putting him in his own room this weekend, so I am excited to get my room back!

EAT: He is a much more efficient eater than his brother was. Hayes latches, guzzles, and is done. I really appreciate this for those night time feeds. I am trying to get him on more of an every three hour schedule, but it is hard when I am running big brother to places and have to stop mid feed to wipe G's butt (literally, this happens almost everyday), or help G with something.

LIKES: He loves his brother, momma only after 5:00pm, ceiling fans, car rides, his swing, and he finally enjoyed a bath! The first several baths were not his favorite!

CLOTHES SIZE: Depending on the brand, he is definitely in 3 month clothing. He is proving to be just as big as his older brother.

WEIGHT: Over the weekend we weighed him at home and he weighed 13.6 pounds. As my friends say, "You produce that heavy cream!" Ha!

MILESTONES: The SWEETEST coos! Once he starts cooing, it goes on for a few minutes and it is precious, y'all! Also, so many smiles, he tracks you around the room, he is more alert during his wake times, and has great head control. 

LOOKING FORWARD TO: We are taking our first family vacation this month. We are headed to Florida to visit my sister in law and her husband who just had a little girl four weeks ago!

I am also looking forward to watching Graham and Hayes's relationship. Graham is obsessed with him and it melts my heart! Every morning, Graham grabs Hayes and says, "Good morning, my preciousssssss." Ahhh! I love it!


We still can't believe you're ours and we get to love on you forever! These past eight weeks have been nothing short of the best adventure we could have hoped for. You are such an easy little guy, and your smile and small dimple get us every time.

You have a brother who is obsessed with you and insists on giving you a hug and a kiss multiple times an hour...especially when I'm trying to feed you.

You have your first stuffy nose right now, but that's to be expected when your brother smothers you all day long.

You're our favorite little brother and we are so blessed to call you ours.

We love you, Haze-a-roni!