Mommy Help, Please!

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Let me preface this by saying that Graham is the biggest blessing Chris and I have ever received. He is a joy and truly the happiest baby! Just the happiest baby who loves life so much he doesn't want to sleep!

I'm about to get really honest. I've cried almost everyday for a week because of sleep deprivation. The kind of sleep deprivation where your head hurts so bad you can't even function...and I am not one to get headaches. Graham was sleeping 6-8 hour stretches for a few weeks and for the last week he has been waking up every 2-3 hours. He goes down between 8:45-9:30 and has been waking at 12, 2:30, 4-5, 6, and then we get up at 7. We have a nightly routine of bath (sometimes), bottle (5-6oz), rock, put down awake, and he falls asleep without a fuss. He is sleeping in a Woombie because he started to bust out of his swaddle. The room is cool and we have the sound machine blaring the ocean :)

During the day we try to follow Baby Wise, loosely. He eats, we play, and he goes down for a nap 30-45 minutes after he finishes eating. We also make sure that he is not up for more than 1.5-2 hours at a time. Once again, he goes down really easy, but has been waking up at 30 minutes on the dot. I let him roll around until he starts crying, then I let him cry for about 5 minutes. I try to go in and put in his paci, but the moment he sees me he has the biggest cheesy smile on his face and I just try to ignore it. Sometimes I rock him a minute then put him back down and other days I put the paci in and repeat that 5 minutes process a couple times, but almost every time he never goes back to sleep...even if I transfer him to his swing. He doesn't cry or whine when I get him up either! He is always so darn happy. Today he napped on me for 2.5 hours which was a blessing because I literally couldn't function. I've tried to not make that a habit, but sometimes desperation calls.

I'm not sure what to do. This morning I fed him from 2:40-3:15am and he woke up at 4:45am. I knew he wasn't hungry, so I just got him and brought him to bed with us and he slept (on and off) until 7am.

We try the let him cry for 5 minutes, then go in, paci, shush, repeat in 5 minutes if needed, but he becomes so whiny that I end up having to feed him and, honestly, when you're so tired, it is hard to wait 5 minutes and then repeat that process.

We have tried to dream feed between 10-11 and he still got up at 1-2am. Saturday night and Sunday night at my parent's house we didn't get home until around midnight and each night G woke up so I fed him at midnight and he slept until 4:30ish, then went back down until 7ish. Now that we are back home and he is going to bed earlier, he is waking a million times a night.

Is this a growth spurt? Is he getting used to being fed? We always put him down awake, so I know it isn't that he needs to be rocked because that doesn't always do the trick. Is he really hungry? He doesn't take a paci very well, but sucks his hands through his Woombie. I know that we know our baby boy best, but I'd love to hear of others who struggled with the same thing around the 3 month mark. I know he can't really soothe himself yet, but is feeding him always the option I have to go with?

All I hear from friends is how their baby is "sleeping perfectly through the night!" and I can't help but cry my eyes out because I'm working with 4 hours of broken sleep for over a week now.

Also, on my Wonder Weeks app is says he is in a "leap" which could be causing the sleepless nights. All I know is I am dying. Literally, I feel like this is worse than the newborn stage and I don't even want to think about the four month sleep regression.

Even with this broken sleep he is such a happy baby. Everyone who has met him always asks if he ever cries. Truly, he is just as happy as can be, but momma needs some sleep!

So, do any of you mommies out there have any advice? I'm all ears!!


  1. You do what you can to survive until this phase is over. It will end! Hire a cleaning lady, order pizza, etc. Stick to your routines and eventually it will stick. I think he might be too young still for cio so keep feeding him of he eats. Invite someone over to hold him while you sleep! I've been there sister! Hang in there! Call me and I'll take him or for an hour while you nap!

  2. Ignore everyone who has a sleeping baby, mentally flip them off if you need to. Know that you're doing an amazing job! Parenthood is a constant reminder that we have zero control..ever. Most importantly, listen to your gut, you've got this. Hang in there momma! He will get back on track and you will sleep.

  3. I know your pain! My little guy slept great until about the 10 week mark and then his sleep patterns became ridiculous. I too cried a ton over our situation especially hearing from other friends who had babies sleeping through the night by then. And I completely agree that it was way harder than the newborn phase because you don't have that adrenaline to keep you going anymore.
    I wish I had some piece of advice for you but unfortunately for us there was no quick fix, though I read a ton of books in hopes of finding something that helped. At about 5.5 months we finally had him cry it out since I was going back to work teaching and knew there was no way I'd survive on such little sleep. That was the turning point for us though it broke my Mama heart, but we were all so much happier for it. In the meantime we did what we could to get by. My husband would insist on me taking a night off and he would deal with the constant wakings. Sometimes we'd split the night in half and he'd take the shift that I was particularly bad at. It sounds like you've got good routines and strategies to encourage good sleep. Some babies just take longer to figure it out despite all our best efforts. But it will come! Good luck!

  4. It sounds like at 3 months maybe he is also needing more awake time during the day according to babywise? Also there is a terrible 4 month sleep regression, so survival and riding the storm might just be the case here.

  5. None of my kids were good sleepers until they hit 10-12 months old....I'm the worst to give advice because i was working + taking care of other kids so the baby always ended up in bed with me. I do think he may be having a growth spurt but possibly keeping him awake for longer stretches during the day might be something to try. I'd also say find some way to have a day you can get some rest. Even if it means having someone come stay and watch Graham for a bit. You will be much more apt to think clearly and work on making this more tolerable if you get some sleep. I promise....all my kids sleep in their own beds now!!!

  6. I have zero advice for you, but just know you're not alone! My 3 month old has decided to take on newborn sleep habits and stays awake for well over an hour at some point during the night + several wake ups. It's miserable and I'm exhausted, but this too shall pass!

  7. I'm sorry to hear this. Seems like even the sweetest babies will find something to drive us crazy over! My daughter was pretty much textbook for having sleep regressions at certain ages, and we just always took comfort in knowing that it was a phase that would pass. It is certainly frustrating going through it though. One of my friends had a baby that did not sleep well at night, and she eventually started putting some rice cereal mixed in with her breastmilk for night feedings (I think she used a pin to widen the hole in the bottle nipple so that it didn't clog) which seemed to help fill up her son a little more at night. Also, my daughter hated her arms being swaddled from week 1, and so we just let her have her arms free. We loved swaddlesacks because her arms were free, her legs had a little more room, but you can wrap snug around the waist to make them feel secure. Maybe some of these ideas would help? Also, if a friend or family member offers to take him for an afternoon so that you can nap, say YES! accept help when offered. Good luck, momma!

  8. If he's in one of the wonder weeks leaps then this YES absolutely has to do with it. IT WILL PASS!!! :) I have no advice because it sounds like you're doing everything right and trying all that you can. He will get through it!

  9. I think he might need to stay awake longer. I have a 7 month old and we've never really stuck to a schedule...we kind of ended up keeping her awake until she showed signs of being tired and we still do that today. She was still sleeping A LOT at 3 months but her wake periods were also getting a little longer. It's also possible he's doing a leap which those are horrible but they do pass! they still need feedings at night up until about 5 mo so I don't think that's it. hang in there and get a baby sitter so you can sleep! Maybe try putting him to bed in a footed pajama?

  10. I am with Ashley (SP Family TX). Maybe a schedule isn't for him at this point? My 6 month old started sleeping like a dream around 4 months, but was AWFUL until then. Now we are struggling with never ending ear infections and he gets up twice in the night. Hopefully it will end soon. Hang in there and chant to yourself that it gets better. That is the only way I get through - I actually climbed into my son's crib last night. I was desperate!

  11. I dont have advice - my son is 11 months and just is not a good sleeper, but just want to encourage you! Hopefully, he will adjust soon and be back to a great sleeper. If not, I can assure you that your body adjusts and gets used to the lack of sleep. Also, give yourself a lot of grace, don't be afraid to tell people "no", and get all the help (even if it seems little) that you can!

  12. OH man I feel for you! I don't have any advice, other then trying to keep your routine and it will fix itself. My first was a great sleeper, the second one, not so much, and took until way later for her to sleep through the night. Sorry you're going through this, I hope you can find some time to take some catnaps, and I totally feel you on the feeling so sleep deprived you can barely function.

  13. I feel your pain. I have three kids(almost 17, 12 and 9) and NONE of them slept good. My first was the WORST. She didn't sleep through the night until she was about 18 months old :( Some babies just aren't good sleepers. My kids are still not ones who like to sleep, unfortunately. Definitely try to keep him up more during the day and maybe some cereal/rice in his nighttime bottle. It will pass but man I know it sucks while going through it...

  14. I'm right there with you, friend. He had a week or two of AMAZING sleep, and now we're right back where we started and it. is. exhausting. Let me know if you find anything that works for you!

  15. My child never slept!!! I cried everyday. He is 6 now and still doesn't sleep so I have no advice. LOL!!! Just know that you are not alone.

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