6 Things I’ve Learned in 6 Years of Marriage

Monday, June 18, 2018

I cannot believe I’ve been married for 6 years (as of Saturday!). Who let a little 22 year old get married? What were my parents thinking? What were Chris and I thinking?! No, our kids cannot get married that young :)

My marriage is something I am proud of. For this day and age I can confidently say that Chris and I ‘do’ marriage really well. Do we fight? YES. Sometimes they are simple arguments and sometimes major tears are shed, but that is always bound to happen when a lot of love and passion is involved. What I’m proud of is that we know we are in this TOGETHER, for life. At the end of the day, we are family and there are always ups and downs, but family is family and that is so important to us.

Getting married fresh out of college, Chris and I have been through many stages of life together. We have grown up together. We have matured together (although men never fully mature…). I think we surround ourselves with other strong couples who encourage our marriage and that is a major blessing. We have now successfully parented for two years together and life just couldn’t get any sweeter having Chris by my side.

We also have two sets of parents who have over 60 years of combined marriage experience. Neither of our parents have ever told us marriage would be easy. We’ve witnessed the good, the bad, and the ugly from both sets of parents, but they have never been anything short of loving and encouraging and the best examples for us.

Although 6 years isn’t long to some, I feel like we’ve learned a lot in six years of marriage.

  1. Saying sorry is the best thing you can do. Sorry goes a long way and, as stubborn as you may be, saying sorry can really help heal the situation.
  2. Do not assume your husband can read your mind. When you are glaring at them because they are relaxing and you’re doing the dishes, they seriously see nothing wrong with that situation. If you want help, ask. 99% of the time Chris will do or help with whatever I ask of him. My passive aggressive suggestions of him helping never get us anywhere. I’ve learned to ask and don’t assume he knows what you’re thinking.
  3. It doesn’t matter how long you’re together, having kids changes things. Chris and I have been together 9 years and had Graham after being married for almost four years and things changed. Not necessarily good change or bad change, but things change. You go from life being easy and carefree to all of a sudden sharing attention and affection and it can be hard. But, I’ve learned that is just a season and, although things will never return to how they were, things are feeling more “normal” as we have adjusted to having a child.
  4. Don’t compare your marriage to anyone else's. That couple looks happy and soooo in love. Good for them! But, you never know what people are going through and the best thing to do is worry about your marriage and know that each marriage is unique in its own way.
  5. Allow girl-time and boy-time. Yes, your spouse is your best friend, but it is SO important to have friends outside of just you and your spouse. Aside from being a wife and mom, I am a friend to many girls who I love and care about. It is so important  for both Chris and I to get time with our own friends. Guys need guy time and girls need girl time and there is nothing wrong with that.
  6. Listen. This one is HARD. Y’all, so hard. Everyone always wants to “win” an argument, but marriage is not about winning because you’re on the SAME TEAM!!! Chris and I are FAR from perfect, but we try to tell the other person when we need to be heard. Listening to what the other person says and needs is vital in keeping a marriage strong.

What is your marriage advice? What is the hardest advice to follow? It is number six for me!!