Let me start by saying Chris is my very BEST friend. He knows me inside and out, he knows how to push my buttons, and he knows how to cheer me up.
When you live with someone you are bound to have a couple of arguments here and there.
In the beginning the tiffs were about little things and I would get worked up, then he would get worked up, then it was no fun for anyone. One thing we learned is that Chris likes to talk about the problem now, and I like to calm down, gain composure, take a walk, and talk about it later...when our mouths are not fire-hydrants spewing out anything and everything. It is important to me to never say anything that would hurt Chris in a way that he would carry it with him, so in times of argument I always try to watch my words.
As the months went on, we figured it out. I knew if Chris was just irritated and he knew if I was and I would not let it bother me if he was just having a bad day.
When we were putting up our IKEA entertainment center, I will never forget, Chris stepped on his drill bits box-thingy. It dumped over and bits went everywhere and it hurt his foot. I was ACROSS THE ROOM and Chris got frustrated at me like it was my fault he wasn't watching where he was going. It was in that moment I realized what this whole bickering with your husband is about. I laughed so hard at the fact that Chris had no one else to blame but me, because blaming himself obviously was not an option :)
He got all worked up (the way men do) and I was calm-cool-and-collected and explained to him that it was outrageous for him to think I made him step on all those tools.
After he calmed down he apologized and realized he was a little dramatic.
It is moments like that when I think back to how I would have reacted if that happened the first month of our marriage. I would have probably got mad and griped back at him and the whole (tiny) issue would have escalated.
Thank God we are growing together and learning how to cope when the other person is not on top of their 'being nice' game.
I can't tell you how awesome it is to be married to your best friend. Even when I am as mad as mad could get he ALWAYS makes me laugh and I HATE it. "I just want to be mad for awhile..." Does that song ring a bell? Well that is me. Sometimes I just want to be mad, but Chris ALWAYS, 100% does something ridiculous that can't be done without an outburst of laughter.
As much as I hate that he makes me laugh when I am mad, I know God gave me Chris because he knows exactly how to handle me. He knows it only takes a good laugh to get over the issue. On the flip side, I know Chris won't ever take the blame for anything he does, so I have to let him come back down to earth and realize he is sometimes wrong. I know Chris, (gaspppp), you are sometimes wrong, honey :)
We now know these things and it makes it so much easier to get through issues.
And I constantly remind myself that the grass is never greener. There is NO couple out there that doesn't argue, or bicker, or have moments that we all wish never happened. We are human, and although Chris and I have had a pretty simple first year of marriage, that doesn't mean it was easy.
But, who ever did something because it was easy, right? That isn't any fun ;)
Marrying Chris has been the most rewarding thing in my life and the toughest thing all wrapped up in one. Marriage is hard, but putting Him first and looking at the fact that you get to be with your best friend forever (talk about a BFF!) makes it all rainbows and butterflies. (But sometimes the butterflies aren't flying and the rainbows aren't shining, and that's okay.)