Who I Am

For the lack of my brain working up a different post idea, I decided to join in on the fun over at Becky's blog.
This week the topic is "Who I Am." All I think about when I say that statement is this song...
I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends that love me 
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

And this is when it all started...1990 Little Miss California. It should be illegal for a child this small to win trophies bigger than the actual winner herself. Jusss sayin'.

I have always been a rather confident person. Not cocky, confident. My parents believed in me, I believed in me, and He believed in me. I have never really wanted to change who I am, never thought I was too skinny or too fat, never went for a run just because I ate a cookie, and never didn't do something because I thought I would fail. 

I get my confidence from this chick. She's a keeper :)

I would say my favorite thing about me is that I am pretty darn independent. I contribute that to the confidence my parents instilled in me at a young age to be my own person, but know they always had my back. To me, you can't live for others until you independently figure out who you are. There was never anything I couldn't attempt on my own. There was never any challenge my mom said, "oh no honey, that's too hard, or you might fail, or get your feelings hurt." If there was a risk, my parents explained it to me and taught me that life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. You have to dust off your knees and get back up. My parents are the most loving people on the planet, but they didn't sugarcoat much and I thank them x100 for that.

I have definitely acquired the don't sugarcoat anything gene. But then again, that is who I am.

If you ask any of my friends they will tell you I am the one they come to if they want an honest opinion. If you want to truly be told if your butt looks big in that dress, come to me. Why? Because I would want the same honesty from them. If I can't trust my friends, who can I trust! Fake people give fake answers and that makes my heart hurt. 

Who I am. I am open and honest and would tell a stranger my life story if I had time. No, I don't have a life changing experience. I don't have a super emotional story that will leave you in tears. I come from a normal family. Grew up a normal kid in a loving home. Married a normal guy and live in a normal neighborhood.

I have found that I can only be true to who I am when I am an honest, open book. If someone is going to judge me on my looks, or my house, or my car, or my job then so be it. I am who I am, take it or leave it.

With all of this I do struggle. Now, I don't have the "normal" girl struggles about weight or appearance. I have the internal struggles. I struggle with constantly trying to overachieve, anxiety, and unnecessary stress. I get worked up about silly little things that don't matter. As I have become stronger in my faith I have realized that none of this is even in my hands. My anxious thoughts and stresses ultimately do nothing but hurt me in the long run. 

We're normal, right?

Who I am has become so easy knowing I am me, all the time. I am an open book. I have learned to accept my silly family for who they are. I love that my family never acted out of character when they met Chris. They never put on a front or tried to act like anything but themselves. If you knew my dad, you would know that guy is about as real as real can get. I am my father's daughter. That is who I am and their honesty and truthfulness has shown me that true friends are the ones who accept you for EXACTLY how you are.

"I am driving the kids to prom. It's not like other drivers will see I am not wearing pants!!"

 I am a girl who has learned to accept my husband and his many quarks, as he has accepted mine. I am a sister who has learned to nurture and love a younger sibling. I am a fur-momma who has felt a glimpse of what motherhood will be like and I know I have so much love to give. I am a friend who has hurt and been hurt, made up and not made up. Most importantly, who I am is centered around Him and if you judge me, fine, I can take it. But until you prove to me you're perfect, I think the only person able to judge is the big man upstairs.

That is who I am.