5 Tips to a Healthy Marriage After Kids

Hi friends! I am here today to talk about some tips I have found helpful to keep your marriage thriving after you bring a kiddo into the mix.

Let's all be real here. You love your spouse, but the second that baby enters the world, you're a puddle in their tiny hands. And, unfortunately, it is your relationship that may fall by the waste side for a period of time.

I'm not expert, but I have 6 years of marriage under my belt, and experience with a toddler, and I still very much love my husband.

Here are my tips on how to keep a healthy marriage after kids:

1. Be easy on yourself and realize that ALL relationships ebb and flow. No marriage or relationship is perfect. Chris was my whole world...until Graham entered the equation. Now I had two whole worlds who both needed all of my attention and it was hard! It was rocky, and there were ups and downs, but we both knew that was just a season. Things will get back to normal and new stressors will come into play. Just know that it is okay if your in a low spot. You will get out of it!

2. Let one another do what they love or need to feel like "them self." For me, that was getting back into working out and being with my friends. I've worked out my entire life. I started playing softball in 3rd grade and didn't stop until I was 21. I was put on bed rest with Graham at 27 weeks for two weeks. After that I couldn't workout. Then, I had a newborn and had no time to workout. It wasn't until a year ago when I decided I NEEDED that time to go let out some stress and get back to feeling like myself. For Chris, he needs guy time, or just time to work outside. You have to let your spouse do whatever it is that fill their cup.

3. Take trips together! To each their own, but nothing brings Chris and I closer than taking a trip with just the two of us. I left Graham for the first time to go to Napa when he was four months old. It was hard, but once I went and did it, I felt confident in traveling more without him. Just this year Chris and I have traveled to Germany, Amsterdam, London, and Maui all without G! We try to get away, just the two of us, once every couple of months!

4. Be kind to one another and realize you are each other's best friend. Chris and I are super competitive. It is definitely something we struggle with in our marriage because we are constantly comparing loads of laundry to minutes spent with G. It has bitten us in the butt more times than I'd like to admit, but realizing that we are in this together helps. If I need a minute to catch my breath or go out for a girl's day, Chris is more than willing to take on the G duties. One the flip side, if Chris needs an evening with his friends, or an afternoon to watch football with the guys, I realize that.

5. Rely on help. I know this isn't the case for everyone, but we are blessed to be surrounded by our family and friends who love Graham just as much as we do. Graham has more aunts and uncles that any other kid I know and we truly mean it when we say they are family. Heck, two couples built houses right next to us, so they must like us! Anyways, rely on their help and don't feel bad about it. Parenting is hard enough, so don't think you have to do it all alone!

Bonus: If you can, hire a cleaning service! Seriously! At the end of the day, everyone is tired. I teach all day long then tend to a toddler until Chris walks in the door. Chris works hard all day and walks in to me begging him to take G for 5 minutes so I can pee alone. So, the LAST thing we want to do on a weekend, or when we get free time, is clean! I know this isn't in everyone's budget, but I highly recommend it! Now, Chris and I never argue about who has to sweep or vacuum. Or, who has to do all the dishes, or clean the shower. It is just done and it leaves time for us to spend as a family!

Do you have any tips?? I'd love to hear!